What Cass Will Miss

deanissobi:

It was the little things really. Cass sat there on the bench remembering the memories of Dean….his Dean. Whenever he thought about Dean, whenever he dreamt about Dean it was always pure, beautiful, and brave. He didn’t dream of Dean the demon. Dean the demon, that attacked him, that almost killed him.
No.
Castiel didn’t think of that man as Dean, because it wasn’t his Dean.
Cass would miss those stolen kisses that he and Dean shared, behind Sam’s back. Usually when Sam was sleeping. He remembered how Dean would love to kiss and suck him off when Sam was in the same room, sleeping, snoring lightly. Cass would miss that he really would.
Cass would miss those times they shared when they thought the world was gonna end. When Sam was long gone and it was just him and Dean against the world. Cass wouldn’t admit it but he liked it that way. He liked how Dean just cried in his arms when Sammy said yes. He liked that Dean loved the feeling of his bare skin against Cass. Cass would die for Sam, but for Dean, Cass would do so much more.
Cass would miss the small touches, that didn’t look like much to an outsider but to him, they meant the fucking world.
He loved the feeling of Dean’s fingers against his own, he was going to miss that.
Cass remembered the time that Dean gripped his hands tightly, looking into Cass’s eyes telling Cass “I love you“ and holding his gaze for what felt like hours.
Cass rubbed at his eyes angrily as he felt the tears gather in his eyes. Castiel was an angel, he shouldn’t be crying. But then again, Cass, was an angel who had fallen in love with Dean Winchester, so he had to cry.
Cass was going to miss holding Dean’s hand under the table as Sam would brief them on the case he had found late the night before. He was probably up because Dean wasn’t always the quiet one when Cass was pleasing him.
He was going to miss holding his hand behind Sam’s back as they waled into a police station or onto a crime scene.
But yes, Cass was going to miss a lot of things about Dean….but really it was the little things that Cass was going to miss the most.